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Marriage Counseling Questions: What You should Ask and When

Marriage Counseling Questions:  What You should Ask and When

Making the decision to enter into marriage counseling is a big step in any marriage; it shows not just a willingness to work on the success of the marriage but it also demonstrates a willingness to ask for help doing things the right way. During the course of your sessions there are several important marriage counseling questions that you should ask in an effort to get the most out of your counseling sessions.

The following marriage counseling questions should be asked prior to starting sessions with your selected therapist.

What Are Your Lifestyle Beliefs?

While this may seem like an incredibly personal and forward question to ask prior to starting sessions, consider the fact that you and your partner will be putting all of your emotions right there out on the table in front of the marriage counselor. Asking this question will allow you an idea as to how the counselor may view your current lifestyle. For example, if dad stays at home with the kids while mom is working to support her family, it is important that your counselor takes an accepting view of this instead of passing negative judgment on the decisions that you make for the well-being of your family.

Finding a marriage counselor who is not just accepting of the way in which you live your lives but is also willing to make constructive suggestions for improvement is a great way to ensure the success of your sessions.

How Can You Help Us Meet Our Goals?

Determine what your goals are for your relationship and ask this marriage counseling question that can help you to figure out if this counselor is one who can help you and your partner meet your goals. Think of your counselor as being just like a coach: they are there to encourage you to work hard by helping you to learn the maneuvers that can help you to be successful.

What Are Your Policies Related To Urgent Situations?

Find out what your marriage counselor does in situations where you and your partner need to have assistance with an urgent emotional crisis. While many counselors will make themselves available at all hours, within reason, you may find that yours is less likely to be understanding of an emotional crisis that could use the assistance of a clear-headed third party.

Once your sessions have been underway for a few weeks, consider asking the following marriage counseling questions in order to ensure that your counseling is as beneficial as possible.

Have You Ever Suggested Separation Or Divorce?

Find out if your counselor has reached the point where they have recommended that their clients end their marriage; ask the therapist what aspects of the marriage made them believe that there was no resolution for the problems that plague the marriage. Some may believe that all relationships can be strengthened to be long-lasting while others believe that many relationships reach a point where nothing can be done to salvage it.

Will It Be Beneficial To Include The Kids?

Ask your counselor if they believe that involving your children in the counseling sessions can be at all beneficial. Difficulties in a marriage affect everyone living in the house so it may prove to be beneficial to have your children speak their minds.

Above all, remember that the goal of your marriage counseling questions is to determine whether or not your selected therapists will be able to help you resolve the huge issues that are plaguing your relationship.

Photo courtesy of Ed Yourdon.

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